Remember When
by StoriUrahara
Summary: Rose reflects on the Doctor and how he made her boring, simple life so much better. Sporadic spoilers from seasons one through four. One-shot songfic.


**Everything is in kind of a crazy order, since I just wrote what worked with a specific part of the song, so bear with me, and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer; I do not own the rights to Doctor Who, nor do I mean to infringe on BBC's copyright for publishing this work of fanfiction. I also do not own the rights to the song "Remember When" by Avril Lavinge, and make no attempt to profit by using it.**

**-x-**

**"I can show you what you're missing with this thing. A simple little radio. It plays music; now what's the point of that? Oh, with music you can dance to it, sing with it, fall in love to it..."**  
**Doctor Who**

**-x-**

**Remember when I cried**  
**To you a thousand times**  
**I told you everything**  
**You know my feelings**

Rose sobbed uncontrollably in the Doctor's arms, tears streaming down her face as she clung to the Time Lord's leather jacket. They stood in the entryway of the TARDIS console room, the Doctor gently rubbing Rose's back comfortingly as she cried into his chest.

"He's gone all over again, Doctor," Rose managed between her sobs. "One hour; that's all I had with my dad." The Doctor held Rose to his chest, choosing to remain silent instead of risking saying the wrong thing and making Rose cry even harder.

He couldn't bear to see such sadness on her face.

**It never crossed my mind**  
**That there would be a time**  
**For us to say "good-bye"**  
**What a big surprise**

"Am I ever gonna see you again?" The Doctor's hearts broke at Rose's question. Now that Rose was on the other side of the universal wall, there was no way for her to jump through the void and return to her original reality. What was the point of having a time and space machine if he couldn't even use it to save the woman he loved?

"You can't."

**But I'm not lost**  
**I'm not gone**  
**I haven't forgot**

"Ask her yourself," Donna nodded pointedly at a space behind the Doctor, a faint smile brushing at her face. Unbelieving, the Doctor turned around, and in an instant, his hearts stopped.

There, on the crest of the hill up the street, stood Rose Tyler, her tired smile growing wider as the Doctor gazed at her in disbelief. The past two years had done nothing to dull Rose's spirit, as the glint in her eyes displayed. Despite the obvious weight of the years that pressed on her, she still stood proudly with her feet shoulder length apart and confidence radiating from her bright smile and sparkling brown eyes.

The Doctor smiled broadly at Rose and her unconquerable soul, his hearts soaring. With a few tentative steps, the Doctor and Rose grinned in sync and ran to each other, elation pumping through their veins.

How she got back, how she jumped the void and found her way back to him, the Time Lord didn't care. As they ran towards each other, their broken hearts mending, the Doctor swore that — no matter what — he would never let Rose slip through his fingers again.

**These feelings I can't shake no more**  
**These feelings are running out the door**  
**I can feel it falling down**  
**And I'm not coming back around**  
**These feelings I can't take no more**  
**This emptiness in the bottom drawer**  
**It's getting harder to pretend**  
**And I'm not coming back around again**

Rose giggled madly as the Doctor hopped around the TARDIS, slamming buttons, throwing levers, and spewing cosmic nonsense as he danced about.

"I'm brilliant, Rose!" He cried, happily twisting a bunch of random knobs. "Oh yes, I'm clever! The cleverest man alive!" Rose just smiled broadly and continued to watch the Doctor, her heart swelling with happiness at his mirth. She didn't know what was going on, but that was hardly new in her travels with her Time Lord.

She was just happy to tag along.

**I remember when**  
**it was together till the end**  
**Now I'm alone again**  
**Where do I begin?**

The Daleks and the Cybermen. Too often the two races coincided, too often were they the ones responsible for heartbreak and tragedy, and as the Doctor floated through space in his TARDIS, he felt the former feeling quite acutely.

The once-bright console room was dimmer now, and the Doctor knew that it was more than just the glaringly painful emptiness that was causing the TARDIS' cheery lighting to falter. The Time Lord missed Rose; he missed her more than he had ever missed anyone before. He had dealt with painful good-byes and difficult decisions before, but this was something altogether different.

For the first time since the War, the Doctor lost someone he dearly loved.

**I cried a little bit**  
**You died a little bit**  
**Please say there's no regrets**  
**And say you won't forget**

Rose stood on the surf, still staring at the space where the Doctor's image had been only moments before. She knew what he was going to say, and it shattered her heart to know that he would never get the chance to say it to her ever again. Racking sobs were accompanied by streaming tears of anguish as she tried to hold herself together.

It was in that moment, on the sands of Dårlig Ulv Stranden, where Rose decided that there was no power in the universe that could keep her from finding her way back to the Doctor's side.

Because without her around, who is supposed to hold his hand?

**But I'm not lost**  
**I'm not gone**  
**I haven't forgot**

The Doctor missed a lot of things.

He missed the Time Lords; his family and friends. He missed Donna's sassiness, Martha's independence, and even Jack's flirtatious, flamboyant personality. He missed Jackie's domestic bluntness and Mickey's awkwardness.

Most of all, he missed Rose; the gold of her hair and the lovely, ringing sound of her laugh. He missed the way she would try to impress him with deductions and how she always knew when to stop him and hold his hand. He recalled every little thing about her in a way only love could provoke, and the Time Lord did not deny that love was the chief feeling he had for his lost companion.

The thought of her ran wild throughout his mind, filling him with warmth and making a sad smile spread over his features. He could never see her again, that he knew, but he could still remember her and love her to the end of his days.

**These feelings I can't shake no more**  
**These feelings are running out the door**  
**I can feel it falling down**  
**And I'm not coming back around**  
**These feelings I can't take no more**  
**This emptiness in the bottom drawer**  
**It's getting harder to pretend**  
**And I'm not coming back around again**  
**Remember when...**

A single tear slid down the Doctor's cheek, nothing but emptiness filling his chest. The words that he never thought he needed to say, the words he should have showered Rose with every day, were lost forever. As he blinked away the tears and started twisting knobs and turning levers half-heartedly, the Doctor cursed his inability to make any sort of difference. If the laws of time and space were supposed to be his to control, then why could he do nothing but watch as everyone he cared for, everyone he loved, was torn out of his grasp?

**That was then**  
**Now it's the end**  
**I'm not coming back**  
**I can't pretend**  
**Remember When**

Rose felt the Doctor's hand wrap around her own and their fingers entwine, the simple display of support and love meaning more to her than anything else. As she smiled weakly up at the Doctor, Rose felt a piercing bolt of reality shoot through her heart at seeing the blue of the Human Time Lord's blazer. It was her Doctor that stood beside her, there was no denying that, but it was him before he had been healed; before Rose had smoothed all of the Doctor's coarse edges. He had a different feeling to his presence, a sharper temper, a harder shell. It was definitely the Doctor from back when she first met him, and it would take time to heal him and smooth him out.

But as she rested her head against the Meta-Crisis Doctor's shoulder, she decided that he was definitely worth smoothing all over again.

**These feelings I can't shake no more**  
**These feelings are running out the door**  
**I can feel it falling down**  
**And I'm not coming back around**  
**These feelings I can't take no more**  
**This emptiness in the bottom drawer**  
**It's getting harder to pretend**  
**And I'm not coming back around again...**

They were torn apart, but she fought on, for his sake, in his name, and now, he is waiting for her. He will wait for as long as it takes.

Because the things worth having are worth waiting for.


End file.
